The art of letting go

The art of letting go

You said to me once
It is better for us now, to forget each other
To simply move on and continue our life as it used to be
As if those have never happened

Forget all the sweet memories that we made together
Forget all the things that happened in the past

As if we have never met before

You said to me once that we need to act like strangers if we met someday
Because there would not be future for both of us.. if we denied the realities and forced ourselves to be together.

It was torturing to hear you say that, i admit.
As if i do not matter to you
As if all the affection that i gave to you all dissapeared, failed for nothing.
As if those beautiful memories that we made together simply meant nothing to you

But if you choose that way..
If you decide to leave all the bittersweet of our memories behind and
if you simply choose to walk away
so do i...
I am letting you go
It's hard indeed - but i must.

If i had another chance, then i would not choose this one..
Because it impossible to erase you completely from my mind

I still have the vivid images of your sweet smile and gorgeous eyes
It is still clear in my mind the way you laugh
The way you try to touch me and hold my hand.

Unfortunately,
There is only one choice..
The choice that i would never choose if i had another option.
But i simply didn't

Now..
I am letting you go
I let you walk away
Leaving me with the scar that you made
Eventhough it is hard for me to stare at your back from distance, when you walk away, leaving me alone with this uncertainty.
But i must

I secretly cry tears
But you don't know it, do you?
Because, i don't want to show the vulnerable side of me
I want you to remember me as a cheerful and sometimes reckless sweet girl with sweet laughter and beautiful smile.
Am i selfish to ask you to think of me sometimes?

No..
I shouldn't ask you that
Because i have no priviledge to make you stay
That's not how the art of letting go works

The art of letting go works in a very complicated way
It's mysterious, yet so powerful and magical
It unveils vulnarebility of one's feeling, yet it requires enough courage to simply do it
Nevertheless, there is an unexplainable beauty in the art of letting go
It would never be understood by one who refuses to believe.

It hurts at the begining, but it heals at the end
It lifts up all the burden in your heart
It enables you to breath the fresh air again

Go now,
I simply let you go
Let me free from this feeling
Let me free from this bond
So that I can really set you free

- E-

Just be Who You are

Just be who you are

You don't have to change in order to impress someone
you don't need to put on make up in order to look beautiful in front of him
You don't have to wear short skirt or dress in order to look good
You don't need to starve in order to look skinny
No! You don't have to !
Do it for your own sake! Do it to please yourself not others!
Darling, It's your life!
You are amazing with all of your flaws, freckles, perfects and imperfections!
Do what ever you want to do, be whoever you want to be! You are different, you are unique, you are special!
Do not waste your time trying to live someone else's life
Remember! Since the very beginning, you were made with love and affection. Do not beg for love from people that don't deserve your love. Leave all the past regrets behind and you can always start all over again.
Right now, focus on your goals and dreams, go travelling, dream big, try out new things, make a lot of new friends and sweet memories
Break down those bricks- the barrier-the high stiff wall that separates you from the outside world. Challenge yourself and have courage.
Be grateful, darling!
You are a tough, strong-willed, and independent woman. You can determine your own life.
Go now! Make your own history - a remarkable story of your own!
Feel the blessing everyday
The affection that you get from God, your family and close friends.
And eventually, you will know that you are loved more than you have ever known before.
You have received much love that you have never realized all these times.

Fidelis Elleny Averina

January 19th 2018

What Can We Do to Preserve Our Culture?

What Can We Do to Preserve Our Culture? The Youth Movement to Promote Local Culture in Globalization Era 

Written By : Fidelis Elleny Averina

As we know, culture is an important part of human life. The tradition passed down from one generation to generation has been deeply rooted and become one of the characteristics which defines one particular group from another. Culture is also related with local languages, beliefs, cuisines, social habits, musics and arts. In short, culture plays a role as an identity which distinguishes one place from another. Through culture, we are governed by norms, wisdom, and customs; which are the pillars of any society. If these pillars are not properly preserved in our society, our culture will be eventually extinct and there will no more left for our next generation to be inherited.

We are all also aware that the rapid development of technology and globalization gives huge impact to the existence of culture. Globalization itself points to the whole effort towards making the world global community as a one village. Therefore, the development of globalization seems like the double-edge sword which gives both the negative and positive consequences. On one side, the advancement of technology will give us easy access to learn about other cultures. In the era of the internet and fast communication, people can interact easily with each other. As a result, it will develop a wider cultural understanding, foreign values, and attitudes which means that it will help to spread and promote the culture rapidly. On the other hand, it will dilute the unique aspects of each culture and force us to live in homogeneous world. The presence of technology will create standardize values and beliefs, that eventually will make one culture more superior than others. Some small cultures may also lose their distinct features and at the end, they will be extinct.

Let’s take a look of the reality nowadays. In Indonesia, teenagers’ pride on their local culture is decreasing every day. The western culture or the Hallyu waves have changed their lifestyle and their point of view. Of course it is not entirely wrong, but it becomes wrong when they forget their own local culture. Many local traditions such as: wedding traditions and local events have also been neglected for the sake of practicality. This miserable condition should be stopped before it’s too late. Obviously, we cannot simply eliminate the presence of technology in our daily life. What we can do is to make use the benefit of technology to promote local culture

We, the Millenials, are very fond of social media. Everyday and every time the millenials access the internet including their social media. Unfortunately, most of them use it for not-so-important purposes. Here, we can use social media and make this a beneficial tool to promote our local culture. The next question might be: How can that be? that must be boring! Actually, that is the challenge. Are you creative enough to promote and show your local culture to the world?  

The easiest and smartest way is by utilizing Youtube. Youtube is an online video platform where all of us from different part of the world can upload, share, and even download the video. You can record many videos about your local culture as creative as you can and share them world wide. We can upload and show the local dances, events, traditions that exist in our place. We can also tell particular customs, values, beliefs, or everything that we’d like to share about local culture. There will be comments  part where we can give comments to each video, discuss something, or simply share our story about local culture. You can also use other social media such as facebook, instagram, twitter, etc. The other way is by making poetry, song, or article, just like I do. 

Of course, this movement will be useless without the involvement of the youth itself. Therefore, I try to promote this idea so that all teenagers from all around the world can join it. We, as the legacy of our culture, hold the responsibility to preserve our local culture from extinction. Having said that, I would like to say that It has taken ages for our forefathers to form such a composite and ethnically rich culture, what is important for us is to preserve it so that we can pass it to the next generation. I believe that together, through this simple action and movement, we can achieve and make positive changes for our future generation

The Little Lady

The Little Lady

The most tender and mild it is
One thing that makes them feel at ease
A thing so precious that she gives
Never makes them feel enough at least

The crowd has grown greedy like a beast
They betrayed her with a kiss
And took away her eternal bliss
Then the little lady silently ceased

The smile in her face has vanished
Her strength was greatly diminished
Abandoned, neglected like rubbish
When trust turned into ashes

In the midst of the autumn breeze
She weeps hoping for peace
Yet nobody seems eager to glimpse
Eventough she deserves to be pleased

7 june 2018

The Night

The Night 

by: Fidelis Elleny Averina

In the dark, serene night
The moon shines with tremulous, fitful light
reflects the sky with the hazy metallic shimmer
Sparks faintly with a wavering glimmer 
As if the moonlight and the darkness are dancing together
The night is getting late
The moon now is hiding reluctanly behind the clouds as if it's looking for warmth
In the midst of the darkest twilight
Beneath the constellations billion miles away 
a vague figure strikes the sight
The little lady standing stiffly
Gazing at the thousand stars above intensely
Recalling the image of her memory vividly
Singing a lullaby for the nature
Leaving a good night kiss for the creature

10 june 2018

The Last Farewell

The Last Farewell

Written By : Fidelis Elleny Averina

The rain was falling heavily when Annica arrived home. She was totally wet and exhausted because she had to walk for almost 5 kilometers and she didn’t even bring her umbrella. That day, her mom was late again to pick her up from school. She had been waiting for almost three straight hours in front of the school gate, but her mom never appeared. Therefore, she decided to walk home alone. Although it was raining and the distant between her school and her house is quite far, she couldn’t take the bus or other public transportations because her mom didn’t give her enough money. That day, she was very upset with her mom. That’s not only because it wasn’t the first time her mom was late to pick her up but also because it was her birthday.

 When she got home, the sky was already dark. She opened the door, entered the house, and banged the door loudly. She was terribly upset and angry. She threw her school bag on the floor and called out her mother, but her mom didn’t answer. She even felt more disappointed because her mom still hadn’t come from work to celebrate her birthday. Therefore, she had committed to ignore her mom when she got home. Not long after that, she heard someone opened the front door. Apparently, it was her mom. She looked pale and very exhausted, but she tried to smile to her daughter.

“Happy birthday my dear” her mom approached her with a birthday cake and some candles.

Annica didn’t reply.

“What’s wrong my dear? I thought you really like the cake. Besides, this is your birthday” said her mother.

“Then if this is my birthday, how can you forget to pick me up at school. I had been waiting for almost three hours, but you never came. I had to walk under the rain alone and I couldn’t take the bus because you didn’t give me enough money. You are always busy working, but we never get enough money. I am tired of this. I hate being poor!” she cried to her mom.

Her mom looked very sad and she replied ”I am sorry I couldn’t pick you up today. I had some important things to do. I’ve tried to arrive home as fast as I could to celebrate your birthday, but I couldn’t make it. I am sorry for being a bad mother for you.”

She continued, “But my dear, I don’t have much time now because I have to go somewhere, let’s blow the candle, make a birthday wish, and eat the cake. Let’s be happy and enjoy your birthday. Oh... I also bring you a birthday present. I hope you like it.”

“I don’t care with my birthday anymore. Just go away. I don’t need a mother like you” She yelled at her mother, stood up and walked quickly to her room.

Her mom held her arm, smiled, and said “My sweetheart, please forgive me. Now I really don’t have much time.  Before I leave, let me hug and kiss you”

Her mom hugged and kissed her, but Annica didn’t react. She just stood stiffly.

“I love you, my sweetheart” her mother whispered. Then she walked slowly to the door, opened it, and left her daughter alone.

In the silence, Annica heard the phone rang. Then, she answered the call. It was a call from hospital. The nurse told her that her mother was killed in the car accident on the way to pick her up at school. The nurse asked the family member to come to the hospital. Annica was very shocked and confused. She couldn’t believe it. Slowly, she opened the birthday present from her mother and read the letter inside of it.

Dear my sweetheart,

When you read this letter, I assume that you have already known the truth. My dear Annica, I am sorry for leaving you alone in your birthday. I am sorry that I cannot be there to hug and kiss you anymore. I am sorry for not being able to buy you luxurious presents or make a birthday party for you because we are poor. I am sorry for not being able to be a good mother for you. From now on, you have to live with your grandmother. You have to be more independent. I know it will be hard, but remember that I will always protect and accompany you from above. I now you can do this because you are my daughter. Please eat well, study hard and reach your dreams my dear because I want you to be happy. Annica, I want you to know that you are the best gift that God has ever given to me and I am lucky to be your mother. Happy birthday my dear. I Love you, now and forever.

                                                                                                            Sincerely, Mother.

After she read the letter, she bursted out in tears. Now, it was all make sense why her mother never came to pick her up at school and why she acted very unusual. She cried and called out her mother, but no matter how often or loud she called her mother, she never answered. Her mother never came back and she could never be able to see her again.  Apparently, that was the last farewell and the last encounter that she had with her mother.

 -The End-

Ignite Your Light

-Ignite Your Light-

A Villanelle

written by: Fidelis Elleny Averina

Do not be afraid to ignite your light

Though the darkness covers it completely

Let the sparks shine brightly in the twilight

The darkness might deceive and blurred your sight

But don’t let your passion die aimlessly

Do not be afraid to ignite your light

The path might be as dark as a midnight

Some fight and struggle might hurt you badly

Let the sparks shine brightly in the twilight

Shine and twinkle as bright as the starlight

Even if the sky gets dark and cloudy

Do not be afraid to ignite your light

Some people get lost in the chilly night

Because of the faint light that glows dimly

Let the sparks shine brightly in the twilight

Be brave in this endless journey and fight

Because it will be ended eventually

Do not be afraid to ignite your light

Let the sparks shine brightly in the twilight

Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window

A review of a novel

“The inspiring novel which alters your perspective about Education”

Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window

written by : FIDELIS ELLENY AVERINA

Rate : 5/5

Have you ever read a book that is related to education? Is it a novel? Or probably a book which contains some theories of education? Well, I bet most of us in today’s generation feel reluctant to read articles or books which are related to education because we might think that kind of books are dull and boring. We would rather read magazines or fiction novels which entertain us than read some books which contain pedagogical method. Fortunately, I found one very inspiring novel, which is still related to education, that will alter your perspective about education and school. The title of the novel is Totto-Chan: The little girl at the window. This best-seller novel was written by a Japanese actress named Tetsuko Kuroyanagi. She wrote this novel as a memoir based on her real-life experience in her childhood at Tomoe Gakuen Primary School in Japan during the World War II. This novel has been translated into various languages and has been distributed worldwide. The English version was translated by Dorothy Britton.

 The novel tells us about the little girl called Toto Chan who is marked as a disobedient girl because she is a kind of girl who likes to express her feelings, curiosity and thoughts; and explore her surroundings every time and everywhere. Her unique personality is considered as some kind of disturbance by her teacher. Therefore, she is expelled from her former school. Her mother takes her to Tomoe Gakuen School where children are allowed to express themselves openly and to be who they truly are. In the new school, Totto-Chan meets the headmaster of that school named Mr Kobayashi. Thus, from that moment the friendship is formed between her and the headmaster. The book continues by portraying how unique and special that school is - including train-carriages that are used as the classroom, the amusing yet stimulating teaching and learning atmosphere in that school, the students' freedom to choose their own materials that become their interest, and warm friendship among all school members. Moreover, the lovable and heart-warming headmaster who always treats all students equally makes the students feel accepted and encouraged. What makes students love Mr Kobayashi even more, is because he is always willing to listen to what students want to say. He also encourages them by saying that each one of them is special.

 One thing that is really special from that school is that their teachers allow them to express themselves freely by singing, dancing, going out to nature, cooking and doing other fun activities. You will not find any rigid, dull and boring education system that frustrates the students in that school. Yet the students still have an eagerness to study. Furthermore, this education system isn’t meant to create robots but the true human being with love, dignity and empathy towards others and nature. Through the ups and downs that Toto-Chan has experienced, she discovers herself and the world around her. The story inspires us in a unique way through the innocence of the children especially on how they perceive the world and people around them. You might find the strong bond that is built among the characters based on affection, respect, and love. The curriculum which is specifically designed to allow students to experience genuine and meaningful learning really makes the students grow to be people who care with others and surroundings. All those touching moments are beautifully written in this novel that the reader can feel as if they have experienced them firsthand.

As we know, very occasionally a novel can alter our thinking and perspective about something. Frankly speaking, this novel has given me a broader point of view about education and made me think deeply about the true value of education. In addition, the figure of the headmaster in this novel can be the perfect role model for all the teachers and educators. Finally, to end my review, this must-read novel is very worth reading that I recommend you read it, especially for those who are going to be the future educators who have the responsibility to transform education and shape the future generation.